A lot of guys and gals had been busy this past week, offering themselves as boyfriends or girlfriends for hire in what appears to be a new internet craze that appeared just in time for Valentine’s Day. It’s all a joke, of course – or is it, really?
Anyway, with so many hilarious and creative ads offering special rates and package promos for the boyfriend or girlfriend for hire, one needs to be more creative to stand out from the crowd.
We spotted one that struck our fancy: a “teacher for hire” who declares in the postscript, “BAWAL LANDIAN, ARAL LANG TAYO! This is not boyfriend for hire.”
So, what does Prof. Manuel Garcia, the teacher for hire, offer to his prospective clients? Well, the options are quite hilarious. Here’s his post on Facebook:
Sa mga SINGLE na walang ka-date…
TEACHER FOR HIRE this Valentine’s Day
(Aral na lang tayo kesa landi)
PACKAGE 1: The STRICT Teacher Package (500.00/hour)
Seryoso magturo, mas seryoso sa jowa mo. Sisiguraduhing matututo ka kahit gaano kahirap yung lesson at matatapos ang klase nang punong-puno ka ng kaalaman. Kung hindi mo pa nararanasan na maseryoso ka, bagay sayo to. Medyo boring nga lang!
PACKAGE 2: The COMEDIAN Teacher Package (400.00/hour)
Idadaan sa katatawanan kahit gaano kaseryoso ang topic. Siguradong tatawa ka kahit na may dinaramdam ka kaya bagay to sa mga broken hearted. Tatawa ka ng tatawa hanggang sa makalimutan mo yung pinagdadaanan mo… at yung lesson.
PACKAGE 3: The MMK Teacher Package (800.00/hour)
Mauubos ang oras na wala tayong pag-uusapan kundi yung mga masasakit na pinagdaanan natin sa buhay. Kung paano tayo niloloko at sinasaktan ng mga taong minamahal natin. At kapag malapit na matapos yung oras, babalik tayo bigla sa lesson.
PACKAGE 4: The HUGOT Teacher Package (600.00/hour)
Lahat ng lesson may hugot; original at on-the-spot. Hindi pa tayo nakakapunta sa next slide, may hugot na naman. Sa una makakarelate ka pero magsasawa ka din kasi mauumay ka. Kaya mas pipilliin mo na lang mag move on kesa marinig yung hugot.
Reasons to choose me:
- Passed the board exam (Professional Licensed Teacher)
- Has a Master’s degree (Master in Information Technology)
- Knowledgeable when it comes to web development, graphic design, computer programming and more.
- Obeys the Section 3 of Anti-Sexual Harassment Act of 1995 that forbids romantic relationships between students and professors.
EARLY BIRD PROMO:
Free ballpen, yellow paper and flash drive.
P.S. BAWAL LANDIAN, ARAL LANG TAYO! This is not boyfriend for hire